"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
