I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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