Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
