booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
