she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize