For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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