my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
