I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize