what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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