it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
