I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
