My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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