I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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