They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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