Can Purell be used as lube?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
