he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
