I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
