so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize