I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
