she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
