He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Randomize
