My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Drunk is a universal language darling
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
