Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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