he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize