Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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