We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
as a side note pls kill me
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
