The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
