is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize