Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
