Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize