New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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