I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
