the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
