There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
