sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
