Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
you will always have a special place in my vag
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
