Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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