im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
