i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize