coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize