I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
