I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Randomize
