you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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