Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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