I want to stick my p in your. b.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
