marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Randomize
