remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
