Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize