I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Randomize
