Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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