awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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