when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Apparently you make a good broom.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I wear drunk well.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
