Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
