After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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