Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
