do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
