I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
