Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
don't judge my taste in strippers
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
