I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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