Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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