First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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