I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
