i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
