And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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