i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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