Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
