i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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