I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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