Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
