I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize