RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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