youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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