"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
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