Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
