You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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