i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
