I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Randomize
