I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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