I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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