after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Text me some of your sweat
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
